My intent with this blog post is to firstly make a “Parenting” series out of it. While I’m at it, I would of course share my perspective on pregnancy, postpartum life, raising a child, healing your inner child through your actual child, conscious parenting and self growth. This blog post will entail my pregnancy and birth story of the light of my life, my Noor.
Pregnancy and conception, in my humble opinion, has very many takes and perspectives. Some people make a big deal out of it while others take it in a very easy fashion. I sit somewhere in between. I think pregnancy should be very well thought through, meaning, well planned because you really don’t know how the cocktail of hormones are going to react in your body once you actually conceive. Needless to say that every pregnancy is different. Every conception is different. It’s completely okay for a totally healthy couple to take upto a year to conceive. However, we do get impatient when we really really want a child (I understand). I like to believe that if a couple is 100% healthy (which means, woman is free of PCOS/PCOD, thyroid, insulin resistance/diabetes, etc. and, is getting her periods on time which is every 25-35 days and her partner has a good sperm count and healthy testosterone levels) and still conception takes upto a year, the soul of the child is waiting for divine timing to make the entry into mother’s body. Trust the wait. That soul choosing to come through the mother knows better. I conceived Noor within ONE MONTH because her soul was ready and believe me (or not) I could intuitively feel her soul talking to me (usually at nights) telling me ‘Mamma, I’m ready’. And boy, I can’t tell you how beautiful and pure this intuitive feeling was. Anything but spooky!
Anyway, 3 months before actively planning a child, a couple must start eating very very clean because that really dictates the quality of genes (immunity, digestive health, brain function, etc.) your child will be born with. Weight should be brought down to a healthy range, exercising should be as regular as 6 times a week but moreover the couple has to be mentally and financially ready. Trust me, it’s not cheap to go through pregnancy and once the child is born, your wallet will begin to empty at breakneck speed. Emotional readiness is of paramount importance because your child (once in the womb) catches every single thought of the mother and his/her body keeps score of those thoughts. In my experience and study, if a woman is pregnant with a baby girl and she creates thoughts of wanting a baby boy, the girl child will catch that thought and might develop PCOD/PCOS when she grows up. This is because she will think that she is not good enough for her mother and would want to be “more like a man” and develop an alpha male personality to compensate for the dissatisfaction of the mother because she couldn’t have a boy child.
Isn’t this sad?
Of course not every case of PCOD/PCOS is related to this reason. Sometimes it can also be due to a sedentary lifestyle and poor eating habits. But, if a girl with PCOS/PCOD is physically fit, this could be the reason.
Similarly, if a woman who is pregnant with a baby boy creates thoughts of disappointment because she wants a baby girl, chances are that baby boy might be born with an imbalanced feminine side. He might mimic being a girl more to get love, acceptance and validation from the mother. Even if after his birth, mother forgets her thoughts of disappointment, he will not. He will remember and act out in ways that might surprise his parents.
Also, a lot of things we experience in pregnancy is ‘group consciousness’. It’s common to hear that a pregnant woman has to feel nauseous, swell up, feel weak, be on bed rest, etc. but that doesn’t have to be true. A woman with a strong mind and optimistic belief system can choose to have an easy breezy pregnancy. Also, don’t be surprised to know that women create this subconsciously to feel and stay connected to their baby because for the first 3-4 months, the bump isn’t visible yet and also the baby movement can’t really be felt. So, these symptoms are the only way for the woman to remember and feel she’s pregnant. But do we really need this? Of course not! There are many such things I speak to my clients when they sign up for Pregnancy Coaching with me 🙂 So, yes, I do conduct pregnancy coaching sessions for expectant mothers and women who are planning to have a baby. These sessions are a sacred high place where insights are birthed and clarity comes to visit. I speak about holistic health as well as parenting in a conscious way! I ensure my clients are fueled with empowering information and have a very very healthy and happy headspace throughout the process of planning, conceiving and delivering.
Pregancy is not a disease or an illness where a woman has to be fragile and on bed rest. My pregnancy was not just fun but I worked till the very last day I went into labour and I must admit, I had a blast. I barely had any symptoms and went on a holiday to Maldives in my second trimester. My gynae was an optimistic person who was very pro-normal birth so that was a blessing as well. I walked a lot but I also listened to my body. I stopped when I felt I needed to. I went into a Theta brainwave and sent my daughter loads of blessings (virtues). I made her feel how desired she is, how grateful I am that she chose me because… I really am.
I encourage you to read my blog post on
Birth of the light of my life, my Noor (at 40 weeks)
I started having contractions that mimicked constipation discomfort. I honestly didn’t know that I was having contractions. I took castor oil to relieve constipation and that’s when it occurred to me that…
Oh boy! she’s coming !!! :-p
Rushed to the hospital to find out that I was only 1cm dilated (OOPS). By the time I took my epidural, I was 3cm dilated and the doctor broke my water to find out that it was green which is NEVER A GOOD SIGN.
This was red signal number 1 which meant the baby girl had (stress) pooped inside so she had to be taken out super fast else if she consumed/inhaled the poop, her lungs would get jacked.
Red signal number 2 was, with every contraction my baby girl’s heart rate kept dropping more and more which means she was getting stressed (hence the poop).
Red signal number 3, the doc suspected the umbilical cord had started to choke her because it got wrapped around her neck. This happened most likely because my daughter loved moving around in the belly.
This resulted in me rushing for an emergency c-section. It’s funny how things turned out because from the very beginning my baby girl was in the head down position which meant an almost 100% chance of a normal delivery.
And when the doc cut me open, the cord was indeed wrapped around her neck TWICE so the decision of rushing for an emergency c was the best one indeed. I was not attached to normal or c-section delivery because I loved and trusted my doctor a lot. I knew she would make the best decision for me and my baby girl.
And. She. Did.
If there’s one thing I want you all to take from my birthing experience, it would be to detach from any one particular kind of delivery because what happens after we go into labour is not in our control. We can prep for a normal delivery all throughout but what’s meant to be will find its way. What’s in our control is CHOOSING the right doctor who is very, very pro-normal delivery but has their head on their shoulders to make a savvy decision as quickly as possible in tricky situations.
One thing I would like to share is the (over) exaggerated case of “gas attack” I experienced because one of the (very heavy) painkillers did not suit my body. That pain has to be the worst I have experienced in my life and that probably is the most pain I have been through ever. I have to say it was even worse than contractions because I felt shock waves in my body tearing my lungs & diaphragm apart. I could not breathe or cry without being in agony and genuinely thought I’d get a heart attack and die. I did tell my husband a few times that I’m going to die… that’s how horrendous it was!
The doctors were shocked because they didn’t see this coming and mind you, I was under the care of one of the best doctors and her whole team was exceptionally loving, kind, compassionate and caring. They immediately put me off food and water. I had to dry fast for 13 plus hours post which I could only have clear fluids. I was put on gas medication and alas it started getting better…very slowly and surely. I could not pass stool for good 5-6 days postpartum which I must tell you is the most uncomfortable feeling ever. I had become ‘Amitabh Bachchan’ from the movie Piku, absolutely obsessed with poop. All I spoke about was…why is the poop not coming despite all the good food & supplementation I was consuming. All I was told and felt intuitively was that I needed to let my body heal. This did teach me and pushed me to practice the virtue of tolerance, patience and compassion. I am still in recovery mode and postpartum has been a bit overwhelming but with the support of my husband and super awesome mother-in-law, it’s been easier. I consider myself to be exceptionally lucky and I’m grateful to have them by my side as my left hand and my right hand because for one good week I felt (and kind of was) completely handicapped due to acute pain. All in all, whoever said that it takes a village to raise a child WAS … BANG ON!!!
It really does take a bunch of experienced, proactive and hands-on individuals to raise a child and I’m glad I have been blessed with the presence of such people in my life.
A very very very special thank you goes to Dr. Ankita, my friend, my confidante who I met through coaching sessions. Her sage wisdom, brilliant mind, compassionate heart and beautiful soul has gone all guns blazing to bombard me with trillion dollar support. She’s been available for me to answer all kinds of questions ANY TIME OF THE DAY/NIGHT. She may not know how much this humbles me and fills my soul with joy and happy tears. People like Ankita make me want to forever be lost in the service of others.
Anyway, all of this said and done, many many congratulations to the soul of my baby diva for her arrival into Earth school where she will learn and grow by mastering virtues and also help me ascend in my soul journey.
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