Surprising you today with one of the most heartfelt musings of a Mommy.
We all know how much of an art ‘parenting’ has become as a result of which, Kajal (read her blog post on Mindful Parenting here) has shared a plethora of special moments with her son, Kabir as
Chronicles Kronicles’ here in this blog post.
She also spoke about what inspired her to pen down her thoughts.
Happy Reading & don’t forget to comment about your favorite episode below.
Musings of Kabir’s Mommy
I’ve always wanted to write. Writing is something that comes naturally to me when I have something to express. #KabirKronicles started as a way of expressing a journey I had never been on before. I had just become a first-time mom, far far away from my family and friends (my emotional support system). I felt like I needed to both, express my feelings as a first-time mom AND note down stuff about my baby. Big milestones are recorded and remembered but there’s no way I would remember all the everyday small moments with this little one, and that is EXACTLY what I wanted to capture through the lense of words! I believe the first wave of inspiration or the first episode story came to me during my meditation. I quickly typed up the first story on my phone while my baby was napping and clicked “post” on FB. Coming up with the title was easy – it had to have my baby’s name, Kabir. As a series, I wanted this piece of writing to chronicle our journey together.
Finally, I do love a play on words so converted the C in Chronicles to K, to match it with Kabir’s K! 😉
#KabirKronicles Episode 1
Today is the first day Kabir and I have been alone since Kabir’s birth on May 10! With heavy hearts, and mixed bag of emotions (nervousness, sadness, and curiosity), we have all waved our goodbyes to parents and grandparents this month. There’ll be easy days and the not-so-easy days – Kabir did warn us by projectile pooping on me yesterday! Today, on the contrary, has been quite smooth. Let’s not jinx this – after all, there are still a few hours till Kabir’s dad gets home.
#KabirKronicles Episode 2
Kabir’s dad is working from home today.
Expectation: We are going to have a great, fairly relaxed family day at home.
Reality: We are all down with a cold (to varying degrees). Oh well, at least we’re all in it together!
#KabirKronicles Episode 3
Kabir LOVES an afternoon nap. I quietly get up to finish with the infamous daily chores, but he wakes up as soon as I leave the room. I’ve tried a couple of different ways every single day this week and he wakes up Every.Single.Time!
Hmmmm, may be it’s his way of telling his momma to rest in the afternoons, too.
#KabirKronicles Episode 4
I won’t lie, early motherhood can be so challenging and exhausting. However, what keeps me going are those special moments with Kabir.
Anyone who knows me well knows how much I love my SLEEP. Anyone who knows Kabir well knows how much he loves his MILK! I never thought I’d come to love early morning feeds but he has managed to change this for me – this morning, we had the best play time after his 5AM feed. He is winding down and preparing for sleep again, while all I want to do is carry him in our sling and go for a morning walk.
#KabirKronicles Episode 5: Babies & Beauty
Today has been one of the most difficult days – Kabir had his first set of vaccinations day before yesterday. I believe this also overlapped with a growth spurt so all the more uncomfortable for him (and me, to see him like that). I’m trying to comfort him and I can see that he just doesn’t want to leave my side since a couple of days.
On the lighter side, I took the effort to give myself a mini home facial today. You’ll soon realise that it wasn’t my brightest idea. When he went to sleep this afternoon, I thought he will sleep for long enough, so optimistically I applied a face mask. Before I could wash it off he woke up screaming. I ran to him (with the face mask on!) without realising that his screams would only increase in intensity when he would see his mom like that.
The next hour consisted of pacifying the crying baby and feeding him (with the face mask still on!) The face mask that should’ve been on for 10-15 minutes was on my face for more than one full hour before I could wash it off! And even then, it was a quick wash off and run-to-the-cranky-baby act, not follow-up with the lotion & potions of facial oils and serums that I had very thoughtfully lined up.
On the positive side, Hubby decided to surprise me with sweet treats. He came home with the ‘survival box’ and made me a hot cuppa coffee so I could sit down and relax.
#ParentingRant #LittleJoysOfLife #Gratitude
#KabirKronicles Episode 6: Passport Plight
Kabir’s passport saga started weeks ago. Sometime in June, we struggled with a month old Kabir to ‘pose’ for his first passport photo with open eyes (yes, Indian passports require babies to have their eyes open). After 30 minutes of talking and shaking him awake, we managed to get a photo in which he doesn’t even look like himself!
On the actual passport application day, we were told that it’ll take 4-6 weeks for processing the application! This was cutting it tight for our early August travel plans.
After endlessly tracking down his passport for the last two weeks (and almost giving up the hope of receiving it on time), we finally got a call this week that his passport is ready, in time for Kabir’s first international trip starting next week.
Today, very seriously, Kabir let go of his beloved afternoon nap to collect his first passport with his mommy. Today was also the first day Kabir and I went out alone (we have been out a lot but never alone, daddy or someone else has always been around). Although I was nervous, he behaved himself and gave me no troubles. After the passport collection, he went to sleep in his car-seat; after all, he had to make up for his lost afternoon nap. I even managed to catch up with a dear friend (and her gorgeous baby boy) over coffee – yes, when you’re a new mom and managing without help, these little tasks seem like big accomplishments.
Here’s hoping to a smooth long-haul flight with a 3 month old next week. Now, please pour in your helpful travel-made-easy-with-a-baby suggestions. Thanks in advance.
#KabirKronicles Episode 7: Travel Trivia
Finally taking off with Kabir on his first flight.
First stop: Maldives
Waiting to meet tutu naani (great grandmother), mama and mami (maternal uncle and aunt).
#KabirKronicles Episode 8: Kabir’s (2017) Travels Continued
Maldives ✅ (check), next stop is India
Kabir is now off to meet his dada and dadi (paternal grandparents) + his bua and chachu (paternal aunt and uncle). Can’t wait … !!
#KabirKronicles Episode 9: Kabir & Dubai !!
After an amazing time with paternal grandparents, we are flying to Dubai today. Can’t wait to introduce Kabir to my extended family and friends in Dubai. Also, can’t wait to show him my favourite spots in Dubai where I have fond childhood memories. I know, at this age, he will not remember a thing but this is a very special feeling for me + there’ll be plenty of photos to remind him of this time when he grows up.
This is also the first flight we will take without daddy dearest- Mayank, you’re dearly missed, for more reasons than one!
Who’ll help look after Kabir when I need to visit the loo at the airport?! Oh well, let’s see how this goes. C’mon son, we’ve got this! Make your mama proud.
#KabirKronicles Episode 10: Kabir’s Mamu’s Wedding
The day is finally here – Kabir is off to attend his Mamu’s (mom’s brother) wedding. This trip to Dubai was one of a kind – he refused all kinds of bottles and formula, went through some growth spurts, had his first Diwali, chilled with family, and even saw his mom suffer from a very painful abscess. The last few days have been a blur with completing wedding preparations. I can’t even feel my legs anymore. Nevertheless, we are going to have a blast at Puneet&Nisha Wedding in Udaipur, India. These two will finally be Man & Wife in 2 days.
Also, Kabir can’t wait to be reunited with daddy dearest.
#KabirKronicles Episode 11: Around The World & Back
We are finally all back home in Edinburgh after the most amazing 3 months of travel. Kabir started his trip in style with attending his Mamu’s (mom’s brother) engagement in Maldives, followed by the most lovely time with his paternal grandparents. Dubai consisted of lovely moments with his maternal grandparents + his mommy running around like a headless chicken for wedding outfits (to somehow transform herself from the crazy, frazzled new mom into a groom’s stylish sister – don’t know about the stylish bit but managed to look somewhat put together).
Udaipur visit was a bag full of emotions – awe, joy, and tears of happiness for my “lil” brother who started a new journey with his life partner, Nisha. After this big fat Indian wedding, we decided to go for a spiritual retreat – my heart was filled with utmost gratitude to see Kabir playing in the arms of our Spiritual Guide.
The final bit of this trip was completed with a ‘mundan’ for Kabir – a purifying ceremony that involves cutting off the hair a baby is born with.
On returning home yesterday, both Kabir and I were so joyful. I hadn’t realised how much of a Home Edinburgh has become (Edinburgh even welcomed us with a sunny day!)
Total count = 12 flights between August and November. As Mayank put it yesterday, “Kabir is back to where he was born, and where he belongs!”
Here’s to settling back into a routine.
#KabirKronicles Episode 12: Kajal !!
Kabir, this one is about me – yes, all about me! Because when you grow up and read these, I want you to know me as a whole being – your mother, yes, but also just an individual, as someone who is trying not only to be aware but also own her emotions, her inner needs, and someone who is trying to live as authentically as possible.
It has been ages since I had some quiet, alone “me time”. Having expressed this to your daddy, I got this morning all to myself. At first I thought about arranging to meet friends but decided that I needed to realign with myself. At the last moment, I even “invited” you and daddy to join me in a cafe, but on looking back, I’m glad your daddy just quickly dropped me off to that cafe. I had forgotten what it felt like not to rush through a meal, or have a hot cuppa coffee. I had forgotten what it felt like to not have a to-do list for the morning (heck, the day!). I had even forgotten what it felt like to just sit and people-watch. I realised a few things, about myself and self-care in general, and I’d like to share these with you.
1) It’s okay not to have it all figured out, it’s okay to feel vulnerable and even express your vulnerability.
2) It’s important to build your ‘village’ – your network of support, but that starts with taking the time to know yourself and be comfortable in your own ‘skin’!
3) It’s okay to express your inner needs and ask for help – you’d be surprised how much people WANT to help only if you actually say what you need.
4) Following on from the above point, it’s important not to assume that people can read your mind – you need to spell it out sometimes!
5) Self-care for me can be totally different from what self-care means to another – follow your need. Most importantly, self-care in this moment can be very different from self-care in another moment (today, I needed some quiet time in a cafe, tomorrow it could be mindless conversations with my girlfriends, another day it could be a luxury spa, pool time with my baby, or a silent meditation retreat).
6) Be #AUTHENTIC – if you’re unsure what that is or how to do that, then find out for yourself.
#KabirKronicles Episode 13: Nursery Narratives
Today, we started the first of our settling in sessions at Kabir’s nursery. Yes, you’re reading this right – I use “we” instead of just Kabir because it’s as much a transition for me as for him.
Coming to the end of my year long maternity leave, I’m equal parts nervous and excited to return to work – excited because I can’t wait to get back to my independent work life, and nervous because I’ve COMPLETELY changed as a person over the last one year. Yes, last year, around this time, everyone told me that my life was about to totally change but I distinctly remember thinking, “how much can a little human change everything about who I am”. Oh, how naive was I !
I hope for a smooth transition for Kabir as he settles into his new routine over the next few weeks. Last night, as I arranged his first nursery outfit and organised all his stuff (in an attempt to have a non-rushed morning), I couldn’t help but feel that cheesy feeling “my boy is not teeny tiny anymore!” In a flash, I fast-forwarded to his school days and pictured how life would be for us. In that flash I also caught a glimpse of me as a school girl and remembered how much I LOVED school. This morning, as I walked him in his pram to the nursery daycare, I felt a rush of emotions, but I returned happy and comfortable, knowing that my mother was waiting to welcome us back home from our first day at the nursery. Most of all, I felt secure in knowing that she is around to get us BOTH through this transition! In that moment, I felt both the strong and loving person responsible for this wee man who has my heart as well as the little innocent child of my mother.
#KabirKronicles Episode 14: Return to Work
Tomorrow is my first day back at work after Kabir’s birth. Last night I transferred my mental to-do list to my phone because my head was buzzing and I knew I’d forget something! This morning, with my superwoman mode on, I got busy checking off my list. With Kabir fighting off his morning nap, I wondered whether I should have sent him to nursery today to prepare better and a have a day to myself.
In the midst of all the chaos, something shifted and I entered a sense of calm. I think Kabir sensed it immediately because almost simultaneously he started smiling and cuddling me. I also took the phone and called my father-in-law and told him how nervous I was feeling about returning to work tomorrow, and I’m so glad I shared it with him – it’s not so much what he said but the way he said it; I felt like he was sending me off to work with his love and care like how a parent sends his/her child to school for the first time. Sometimes, you just need to centre yourself, to listen to your gut feeling, and I’m happy I stopped everything I was doing to pick up the phone and call him.
With the afternoon still not over and everything checked off my list, I still have time to enjoy one more lazy nap with Kabir + one more leisurely pram walk in our neighbourhood before I return to work tomorrow. In the magic and embrace of ordinary moments, you find the extraordinary!
Forever #grateful for this year long maternity leave.
#KabirKronicles Episode 15: 10 May 2018
And just like that, he turned One!
Episode 16: The Return of #KabirKronicles
Yes, I know, it’s been a while … Hello again!
We’ve been busy with nothing and everything! Lets just say, we’ve been busy growing up – quite literally for Kabir as he is now an (almost) 18-month old toddler, and for us (his parents), it’s been a phase of adulthood we’ve never anticipated. Over the last few weeks, we’ve been as exhausted as EXHAUSTED can be + MORE!
Putting on my “Out of Office” at midnight last night and sorting out what seemed to be the entire neighbourhood’s laundry, happy to announce that we are finally on our way to meet the grandparents! This holiday has been in planning mode for ages – now let’s see what travelling with an 18-month old feels like!
P.S. To-do lists work! I couldn’t have managed without them the last few weeks. I’ve even managed to clean up the entire place with the toddler napping- you know you’re an adult when a cordless Dyson hoover gets you super excited!
One of the best gifts by hubby.
#KabirKronicles Episode 17: 01 April 2019
Mother’s Day 2019
A day late with posting this – yes, life got in the way! But hey ho, always his mummy!